A twenty pound bag of rice sits idle on the floor, abandoned by the heavy day.
baw baw's eyes are weak and tired, like the pavement and streetlights outside.
we sit, waiting to feel more alive, but the longer we wait, the more sadness seems to seep in. and stay.
underneath the laughter, there is still so much pain, too much pain to be told in stories. 
I linger in my thoughts and wonder if He can hear it all, when these walls are so thin. 
the shoes are strewn, here and everywhere, right beside our little hearts
we are afraid to die before we are able to give our lives away to something good.
raw meat in the pantry, mismatched clothing all about,
what is life supposed to be anyway? there is no right way or wrong, only what we've known
but what we know may not be right at all, we may be all wrong in fact.
and we see so much, but we let so little in. we are people who know nothing at all.
so the dawn brings a stale promise of what we thought we deserved. of things we thought we knew.
and life is the same no matter which square inch of earth you claim,
pain is everywhere, in everyone
and in the end, i suppose the wretchedness of darkness is the same in every soul.
here, and everywhere there is always something that doesn't seem quite right.
today, something is breaking, and i cant tell if it will mend or shatter.
today, even our words seem as silence.
please tell me, my dearest ones, we don't have to stay asleep, do we...
there is still some color left, there is still yet a voice that's louder than our own.
the light coming in through the blinds from the pale light outside,
it is truth. it is hope, if we will let it be.
the roads we walk within these walls, and every other wall, must bring us some strength.
being alive is not so easy, staying alive even harder.
but open your eyes, you are standing in the bright light.
let it in, let it all in.
yeshua, help us to be free.

.....For my new friends here, for my new home here and this quiet room that holds so many secrets, and for all of those who watch or weep this night, expectant of a new hope and a new life, these words are for you, however jumbled and incoherent they may seem.

These few days have seemed dim, as the family I have learned to love and live and walk beside are having trouble finding the light. I am learning, families are the same everywhere, and men and women are men and woman no matter what language they speak or whether they grew up in suburbia america or in the jungles of thailand. please pray, if you are willing this night, for our dear friends who are searching for hope and truth in their marriage and in their family. pray that God's light will find them soon, and His peace will sustain them for the months to come. I dont know what to ask, so I don't know what to tell others to ask, but perhaps simply ask the Good Father to be present in this place, as He already is, that we would see Him and know Him here even now.

Peace to all of you tonight, even if the road seems dark. the one step we take this very minute is lit with all the light we will ever need. We are loved, and in this we can rest.